Me and my Circle

Circle: a closed plane curve consisting of all points at a given distance from a point within it called the center: equation: x ² + y ² = r ².

"Let architects sing of aesthetics that bring Rich clients in hordes to their knees; just give me a home, in a great circle dome where stresses and strains are at ease." 

-R. Buckminster Fuller

On March 5, 1963 two men, Arthur Melin and Richard Knerr, developed a product that was inspired by their observation of Australian children twirling a wooden hoop around their waste during gym class. The product that Melin and Knerr patented in 1963 was marketed by Wham-O earlier. 

The product, after it was patented, sold 25 million in the first four months on the market.

The product was a toy, and the toy was the "Hula Hoop".

 Get it girl...

The reason for my little history lesson on the hula hoop is because of a speaker I had the privilege to hear speak at our church yesterday. The speaker, Dan Seaborn, shared with us that while watching his wife hula hoop in their bedroom one evening (easy now... she was exercising... serious) he was reminded that all of us have our own personal circle we operate and exercise in every day. 

And while all of us have our own circle many of us like to observe others in "their" circle. We like to comment and opine on their situation and how we could fix them, and their problems, if only they would listen to us. 

Think spouses, kids and friends alike and you will get my drift.

We are all so ready to jump in another person's circle and fix them and their situation.

We as humans think everyone else has the problem and if they would let us counsel them that we could eliminate their issues. Many of us think this way while having more issues than Sports Illustrated... I include myself when I say many.

Our attention needs to be on our own faults, not on the faults of others.

With that being said, the only way we can identify, acknowledge, and change our faults is with the help of God.

James 1:5 states; "If you need wisdom- if you want to know what God wants you to do- ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent you asking."

We all need wisdom.

And we all can have it... all we have to do is ask.

We have to ask and believe.

James 1: 6 continues to say: "But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." 

Isn't it funny that our children, when they are in their early elementary years, believe everything their teacher says and then when they get to junior high they think their teachers are idiots? The reason for this is because they begin to doubt what they are being taught and who is teaching it. I blame the parent for that, but that is a topic for another day.

But whether it is the parents or not what does begin to creep into our children's head is doubt. 

The point here is when we ask God for wisdom we have to believe that God is who he is and that his promises in the scripture are just that... they are his promises to us.

We cannot do it alone and God knows this. He will provide us with giving us his helper in the form of his holy spirit.

The Greek word for Holy Spirit is Parakletos (par-ak'-lay-tos) which literally means "one who consoles, one who intercedes on our behalf, a comforter or an advocate."  

God will actually provide for all who will invite him into their life a counselor, a comforter and an advocate.

All we have to do is ask. 

I will say it again... all we have to do is ask. 

The last statement is so simple, but so difficult for most of us to do. I ask myself why?

I find myself often fascinated by what, and who, we invite into our circles. Many of the inhabitants in our circle cause so much pain and misery. We often invite poor relationships, addictions, arrogance, ego, jealousy, work, material items and poor counselors to name few. And though I do prescribe to the theory that experience, expertise and authority, when teamed together, can move us closer to the truth and improve our reality, whatever that truth may be, the fact still remains the same for me that it is only through the guidance of God's almighty hand do we realize real truth in our lives. In the end, we invite everything else in why not invite God in.

When we invite God into our circle then, and only then, will we see the truth. 

Mercury Falling

In the 1996 song "I Was Brought to my Senses", penned and sang by Sting on his Mercury Falling album, Sting shares with us these words:

 

I walked out this morning
It was like a veil had been removed from before my eyes
For the first time I saw the work of heaven
In the line where the hills had been married to the sky
And all around me
Every blade of singing grass
Was calling out your name
And that our love would always last
And inside every turning leaf
Is the pattern of an older tree
The shape of our future
The shape of all our history
And out of the confusion
Where the river meets the sea
Came things I'd never seen
Things I'd never seen

When Sting wrote this song he was referring to a lover that had changed his perspective and changed the very way he looked at things. The prospect of a loving relationship with his lover gave his life clarity, purpose and meaning.

Love has a way of doing that to us.

But when I hear those words I think of how point on that description is when we invite God into hearts. A veil is truly removed from our eyes and for the first time we see things that we have never seen. 

We begin to see how things truly are.

Finally, it is my hope that the next time you see a kid playing with a hula hoop that you picture yourself standing with a circle around you. I hope you process for a moment your circle and what you currently have in it with you. And once you're reminded of the circle that encompasses you and your life, be mindful of God and invite him into your circle. Ask for his help, his protection, his peace, his favor and finally ask for his wisdom.

You will not be disappointed.

sbb  28.2.2011

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Hold Us Together  .  Matt Maher

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A is for Austin; A is for Awesome (re-post 3.25.10)

Austin: revered

Final Home Game... Senior Season

Nineteen years ago today my first wife and I had our second son.

We named him Stephen Austin Bailey.

We named him after his grandfather and Austin Carr, a famous basketball player.

I will let you figure what parent chose what name.

The name "Austin" is of Latin origin. Its meaning is Imperial, Royal, Great, Majestic and Dignity. Austin has been contracted from the Roman name "Augustinius" which has further been contracted from the medieval name "Augustine". 

Saint Augustine of Hippo was a 5th-century Christian theologian and author from North Africa. For his contributions to Christian philosophy he is known as a Doctor of the Church. The name Augustine became popular in England in the middle Ages partly because of a second saint by this name, Augustine of Canterbury, a 6th-century Italian monk sent to England to convert the Anglo-Saxons.

Finally, Austin means revered. I like that.

There is so much I could tell you what the name Austin means to me, but tonight I'm just going to say that I love this young man more than you can imagine and that I'm so proud of the man that he is becoming.

He truly is a special person.

Happy birthday Austin (I enjoyed dinner tonight) and I love you very much.

Below is the third piece I wrote on mybabyr0c on March 25, 2010.

I hope you enjoy!! (sbb.235)

 "A is for Austin; A is for Awesome"
3.25.2010

REVERED: To regard with high respect tinged with awe: venerate. Honor.

Stephen "Austin" Bailey

Many years ago I had the privilege and pleasure to read a book called the "Color of Water" by James McBride. James is a musician, author, & screenwriter. He is also the 8th of 12 children. All were raised in Brooklyn's Red Hook housing project by their Jewish immigrant mother from Poland. Her name was Rachel Shilsky, later she changed her name to Ruth McBride. 

His landmark memoir is considered an American classic. 

The "Color of Water" spent a little over 2 years on the New York Times bestsellers list. His bestseller is a gripping description of how it was to grow up in a large, poor, & black family that was lead by a white, religious, and strict Jewish mother. Their mother's father was an Orthodox rabbi, but later became a devout Christian after her first marriage to Andrew McBride...a black man.

The title of the book was taken from a response that James' mother gave him when he ask; "what color is God?" Her reply was simple...He is "the color of water".

Ruth McBride was an amazing women and mother. All TWELVE of her children went on to college and graduated. Three of the children are doctors, two are teachers (one in special education), one is a chemistry professor, one became a medical office manger (the most difficult job of all...dealing with doctors all day is no small chore), and one became a University Chairman in Afro-American History. James graduated from Oberlin College with a degree in music composition and earned a masters degree in journalism from Columbia University.

Like I said, Ruth McBride was an amazing woman. Funny (not really...sad more like it) how most people know more about Tiger Wood's 6th mistress and Brittney Spears than they do Ruth McBride.

I often wondered how she could have possibly send "12" children to college. Yesterday I gained a better understanding. My 18 year old son, Austin received a letter from Denison University outlining the details of his full scholarship starting in the fall of 2010 (Denison is over $48,000 a year to attend...Austin actually received $42,000 in scholarship monies). When my son's mother (Tracey) called to share the information with me I told her that I needed to get off the phone.

I couldn't compose myself...I started crying.

I was sitting in my car, at a gas station, crying. 

I then realized it is mothers like Tracey and Ruth McBride, who put their children first every single day, that make things like a college education possible. They raise them during the best of times and the worst of times. They get up and show up every single day...never giving in to giving up. Being a single father is tough, but it doesn't scratch the surface of what a single mother has to endure. 

Congratulations son...you are amazing. Thank you Tracey...you are awesome.

I love you both...

Austin's first day at Denison

sbb  25.3.10 

514

 Hallelujah  .  k.d. lang

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Eyes on the Prize

Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

  "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

 - Hebrews 12:1-3

 

In 1988, a year after graduating Wittenberg University, I had the privilege to read one of the best books ever written on the Civil Rights movement. The book was entitled "Eyes on the Prize" and it was written by Juan Williams in 1987. When I reflect upon Hebrews 12:1-3 I often have images of the people that were so focused on gaining equality in this country. For many their single minded focus caused them their life.

Eyes on the Prize

The Latin word for "fix" is aphorao. 

Aphorao (af-o-ra'mah) literally means "to look away from all else unto a certain object." From aphorao we gain the medical term Aphorama which simply means "projection or prominence of the eyes; to have in view."

As believers what we focus upon and feed on fuels our faith.

And as non-believers what we decide to focus upon and feed on will fuel our fears. 

The choice is ours what we decide to focus upon and feed on.

The question that we all must ask ourselves is; "What do I focus upon and feed on each day?"

God's word direst us to focus, and fix our eyes, upon Him and Him alone. We are not to focus on ourselves, our problems or our circumstances.

We are to focus on Him.

Like all of God's commandment Hebrews 12:2 and its direction is placed there to protect us. God understands how easy, and dangerous, it is for us to become sidetracked and lose sight of what really is important.

Remember, become focused and stay focused.

The best way I know how to become focused is to read God's word and pray daily, and to be part of a small group of believers that meet weekly that will aid me in my growth spiritually and keep me accountable for my actions. 

Stay focused...

If Hebrews 12:1-3 were a coin and one side of the coin is focus then the other side of the coin is perseverance.

In Greek the term for perseverance is hupomone ( hupo = under + meno = stay, remain, abide) which literally means abiding under. We are able to paint a mental picture for perseverance with words like steadfastness, constancy and endurance. A man that embodies this trait is not easily swayed from his deliberate purpose and he loyal to his faith in midst of the greatest of trials and sufferings.

In the end, perseverance in one's life demands that we become consistently committed to the cause.

The cause of serving Jesus Christ.

I will leave you with three principles that I believe that can aid anyone wanting to persevere in fixing their eyes on Jesus.

• Vision is vital to success. Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Those are some pretty high stakes for not having a vision. The best way I know to create a vision is to pray for God's direction in forming goals in every area of your life and then consistently pursue them with dogged determination. Remember, you won't do it until you write it down and you can't do it until you visualize yourself doing it.

•  Develop a picture of the future that prompts action. Matthew 7:24 states; "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." Fixing our eyes on Jesus is not a passive activity; it takes action on our part... daily action.

•  Discover and develop God's plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 gives me great pleasure just to read it: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Now if that doesn't get you excited nothing worth any value will. God has destined to give you a future and a hope... all we have to do is invite him in to our hearts and into our lives. It's that simple.

Run the race that is put in front of you with endurance 

...with perseverance.

In closing, this past month it was revealed to me that if I were to continue to spend countless hours on the computer and to spend many hours reading books that I would have to get something to "aid" my eyes.

I needed to get glasses.

My first thought once I ordered my new frame and lenses is that this "ain't no" cheap venture.

My wife explained to me that it will be far more costly if you can't read, if you can't read what you write and if you can't see while you're driving.

I must say that this is the "first" time my wife made such solid points, even if they were quite obvious.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

Anyway, as I think back to my need to strengthen my eyes to see it reminded that we often need something to aid our spiritual eyes too.

And what I was reminded of is that all important "aid" is Faith.

More specifically, our faith in God.

Remember, what we focus upon and what feed on will fuel our faith.

And without faith it is impossible to keep our eyes on the prize.

sbb  22.2.11

997

A Change is Gonna Come  .  Sam Cooke

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Meet the McGhees

Gift: something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

Mia and Rozonno McGhee

...and Rozonno Jr., Isaac, Josiah, Elijah, Madison and Olivia.

Earlier this evening my wife informed me that we were going to watch the Oprah show that she had recorded earlier in the day. The reason she wanted to watch was because Celine Dion was going to be on and Oprah was going to take the viewers on a tour of Mrs. Dion's 20 million dollar home on Jupiter Island. Jupiter holds a special place in our heart because every September we go to South Florida (I also lived there for about five years back in the early 90's) and while there we drive from one end of the island to the other after spending a day on the beach in Jupiter.

So being the submissive and compliant husband I am I said, "No problem."

Well it sounded good.

Anyway, as we watched the show we were in awe and deeply touched by what we saw.

After Celine, Oprah introduced a family from Columbus, Ohio to the world.

See the McGhee family had sextuplets on June 9, 2010 and to be honest I want to stop there.

I want to stop there because there are so many things that are going through my mind at this very moment that I really don't know what to say or write.

How do they do it every day?

How do they protect their sanity?

Who will pay for college?

And while I have so many questions, and so much admiration, I soon realized what I'm to say.

God is the awesome answer.

He will provide.

He will care for.

He will protect.

And He and only He alone will meet every need that this "special" family will have. 

What am I to say?

What am I to write?

Psalm 127:1-5 states:

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,
   the builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
   the guards stand watch in vain.
² In vain you rise early
   and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
   for he grants sleep to those he loves.

 ³ Children are a gift from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him.
⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
   are children born in one’s youth.
⁵ Blessed is the man
   whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
   when they contend with their opponents in court. 

Another translation for Psalm 127: 2 is "for while they sleep he provides for."

Mia and Rozonno, while you and your family rest tonight, and every night, He will also provide for you and your little gifts.

And finally, Psalm 139: 13-18 shares with us:

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

I really can't add anything to that... The simple truth is He is with us while we rest and He is with us when we awake.

And Mia & Rozonno, He will be with you and your family too.

May God bless you guys in a mighty way and in a mighty way may God bless you.

And God thank you for allowing me to meet the McGhee family.

  sbb  21.2.11
 670

We Need You Lord  .  Jonathan Butler 

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We are family

Protection: the act of protecting or the state of being protected; preservation from injury or harm.

Over the past four weeks our pastor, Ken Murphy, at Cypress Wesleyan Church has been leading us in a series entitled "The Cleavers vs. the Kardashians" that outlines the dynamics and differences in family life across our country. He shared with us through his research and prayerful consideration what he believes that will, and can, make a difference in each of our families. The simple answer is that God makes the difference, the only true difference... the ultimate difference, in families lives.

I have been married when God hasn't been present in our relationship and I have been married with God being present, and I must say unequivocally that it is better with God as the foundation of our relationship than without.

Like I said, the message is that God makes a difference.

This is a great message, but that would be a short sermon. There is more that I would like to share with you if you don't mind that our pastor shared with us, the congregation, this morning.

For those keeping score at home Pastor Ken delved into the topic of "blended families" and the fact that they are the biggest representation of American family life in our country today during week one. He also covered during week one the "single parent family" life and how that being a single mother is the most difficult responsibility and job in America today. I couldn't agree more. The second week of series on family life he visited the ever popular topic of "husband & wife". The point that was paramount last week was that the married life is the life that is centered on sacrifice. In the end, love cannot be present nor operate without sacrifice.

And this morning we learned a few Biblical principles concerning the ever challenging dynamic, and responsibility, we call "parenting".

But before I share some of the notes that I took this morning I always like to hear from other dignitaries and scholars on certain topics.

Today is no different.

Below are some quotes I came across concerning parenting. I must say that I found them amusing and very truthful.

Allow me to share.

William Tammeus wrote: "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."  

The legendary Phyllis Diller, who is neither a scholar nor a dignitary, poignantly suggested that "it would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."

I wholeheartedly agree.

And finally Elizabeth Stone reminded us that "making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." 

I have to admit that each person's words are very touching and very true.

As pastor Ken said this morning "parenting is more art than science."

So with that lets try to discover the art, understand the science and increase our faith in what God shares with us in his word concerning the greatest challenge and greatest reward in one's life; the challenge and reward of being a parent and raising our children.

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 states:

 "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts."

The principle here is that you can't teach what you don't know. Parents do right when they know right. It's very difficult to know right when all we trust and depend on is how we were, or were not, raised and what we believe to be the best way to bring up our children. Every parent needs help because often we can be very inconsistent, and hypocritical, individuals. God's word and direction is never hypocritical or inconsistent. Never. In the end more will be caught than taught when it comes to our children. If we don't know God chances are they will not know him either during their childhood. Parents that accept God into your lives increase their child's chances of knowing the Almighty at a young age. It will change the dynamics of your family for the better for a lifetime... it really will. Remember, you are not losing anything by accepting Christ into your heart; you're actually gaining everything. Love God with all your heart.

Deuteronomy 6:7 shares with us:

"Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

The second principle is to raise our children in a way that they will learn to relate God's word (truth) to daily living and invite him into their daily lives. God truly loves us, and our children, and he wants the best for them, as well as, us. He created us... either you believe that truth or you don't. The primary responsibility that falls upon a parent is to raise their children with the knowledge of God. I know that is a very powerful statement and it is not my intention to offend anyone. I just believe it to be true. I also believe that in order to raise our children the correct way we must be willing to discipline our children, not punish them. Discipline is about the child; punishment is about the parent. Discipline helps the child; punishment hurts the child. Finally, Proverbs 22:6 commands us to "teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older they will remain upon it." Within that command there is a promise; if we raise them with the knowledge of God that even if they stray they will back. I'm living proof of that. With every command in God's word there is a promise. Either you believe that or you don't.

Deuteronomy 6:8-9 brings home the final point:

"Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates."

The third principle shines light on the fact that we are to teach our children the right way. Even though we raise our children by the way we behave on a daily basis we still need to be committed to "teaching" our children the correct biblical principles that will aid them, and protect, them as they grow older. One of the biggest things we have to teach our children is self control. Proverbs 5:23 states; "He will die for a lack of self control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly." We owe it to our children to reinforce the importance of self discipline, self control and the value in making good decisions. Remember, children are wet clay; it's up to us to "aid" in shaping their future and their destiny. In the end, we as parents, teach our children how to live, how to think and how to process life. And as we teach them our main goal should be to teach, and discipline, in a way that creates loving boundaries that are designed to help, and aid, our children soar. Our discipline, not punishment, as parents must not be an event; it must be a way of life.

Being a parent is a big deal and it is something we will do the rest of our lives once we are blessed with children. 

We never really stop being parents.

We as parents have five different stages of parenting that we have to accept and adapt to; they are the birth stage, the terrible two stage, the childhood stage, the teen stage and the adult stage.

• The birth stage is relational based. Our children depend on us for their very existence
• At "two" we begin to set into motion and teach our children the difference between right and wrong.
• During the childhood stage we begin to teach how to process life.
• When our children begin to enter their teenage years our main focus should be on developing a "safe zone" of responsibility and privilege.
• If we are fortunate and blessed our children will become adults. I say that because tomorrow is never promised and far too many parents have suffered the unthinkable and unbearable circumstance of losing a child. My dad has always said that it is not the nature progression of things to bury your own. I agree. The biggest things we can do for our adult children is to:
• Pray for them... be their biggest supporter through prayer.
• Be their sounding board. Everyone a favor and listen more than you talk.
• Become their biggest cheerleader. Everyone needs a fan or two... our children are no different.

We are family... Reese wasn't here yet!

Finally, inside the front cover of my Bible these words are written:

"The health of my family starts with me"

"My children, my plan"

• Proverbs 22:6
• Father first so I can be a friend later.
• Pray with them & pray over them... give "them" to God.

 "Knowledge is the knowing; discipline is the doing."

Those words were written sometime ago, but are still very relevant today. 

As a parent, and the leader of my family, the health of my clan does start, and end, with me. I wish I knew, and understood, that with my earlier family and wife. I really do. Too many people become hurt and disappointed when the man of the house doesn't realize this truth. The collateral damage in this type of situation is an enormous.

Secondly, raise them the right way, be a father before being a friend and pray with them, and over them, for a lifetime. 

And finally, knowing isn't enough. Knowledge is only part of the equation. We as parents, and as people, need to put into motion what we know is right. When we as people do right we get right; when we do bad we get bad.

It's really that simple.

But hey, don't listen to me, before I had children I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.

Well, actually one theory.

God please protect these children and bless me, and my wife, with the common sense to raise them right. 

sbb 20.2.11

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God Bless the Child  .  Lou Rawls