Trials... You Are Not Alone (re-post 10.15.10)

Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

We all experience hurt...

If you live long enough most of us will be hurt beyond repair, troubled to the point we cannot sleep and we all will grieve in such a way that we will lose more than just our appetite. Trials and tribulations, and pain and hurt, have a way of putting everything into perspective.

Ask a parent of a "special needs" child or mother that just buried her son what is important and you will get an answer that if you're lucky, and smart enough to realize, will cause you to question everything you do and why you do it.

Pain and suffering get our attention and they get our attention fast.

So what are we to do when an unwelcome trial arrives at the doorstep of our life? 

The options are limitless and most of them usually make things worse. Below, I want to share three questions we should ask ourselves when we are hurting and three answers to those questions we all can cling to in our individual times of need.

• Ask yourself the question: "What can I control?" 
• The only thing we have total control in our life is our Attitude. Attitude determines outcome & altitude. I refuse to add anything else to that statement. 

• Next ask:"What am I to learn in this situation?"
• James 1: 2-4 states; "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything."
• We are to endure. When we do this we grow in courage, strength and character. And when we grow in those three areas we become of value to everyone around us and everyone we come in contact with... whether they realize it or not.
• It really comes down to faith and hope if we are truly going to endure. The key is what we put our "faith" and "hope" in.

• Finally, ask yourself:"Where do I go from here?"
• The first place I go to is my knees. Psalm 61:1-3 is beautiful and reassuring... "O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I will cry to you for help, for my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge..."
• God can take any situation and make it more than better. He can give us victory in each and every situation; he can take our bad and turn it into good. We may not get the desired outcome but if we trust in Him He will show us the intended message and where we are to go from here.
• At the end of the day, God is either in everything and every situation or He is not. The choice is yours... all you have to do is invite Him into heart and into each circumstance of your life.

God cares...

John 16:33 say's, "I have told you all is so that when you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

I'm not sure why I chose to write about this today only to say it was on my heart. And though the words in this piece might be helpful to some and pathetic to others the one thing I do know is that we all experience trials in our lives. We all experience such pain and hurt that when we think about a certain situation that was painful it can, and usually does, bring us to tears.

Pain and suffering is universal and it spares no one. 

We all are currently facing a trial(s), we just came out of a trial(s) or a trial is just around the corner. That is an undeniable truth. And the question each one of us needs to ask is who will we depend on when the winds increase in strength and the waves get higher and higher? Will it be a friend, a parent or we will depend on ourselves? Will it be alcohol, drugs or an unwarranted relationship?

In closing, Proverbs 15:1 states that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." My intention or goal was not to stir up any anger in the reader or to come off as a know it all. It is just my belief that so many people are truly hurting in such a way that many times they find it difficult to even get out of bed in the morning.

I hope that person is reading this piece right now. It is my hope and prayer that they realize that it will get better. It comes down to our attitude, our desire to endure and our ability to admit we can't do it alone. Ask God for His help and his direction; ask Him today.

I usually reserve this type of commentary for Sunday but I chose not to today.

And for those of you that are hurting at this very moment, take pause and just remember... you are not alone and you will never be alone.

Hold on to that... you are not alone.

sbb  15.10.2010

913

"He Is Concerned"  .  Cece Winans

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Fast Lane; Slow Lane

Speed: rapidity in moving, going, traveling, proceeding, or performing; swiftness; celerity: the speed of light; the speed of sound. 

 How fast is too fast?

Many times speed, and a lot of it, is a good thing. Car's chasing the checkered flag on Sundays, your provider's internet speed and football players in the SEC all require high rates of speed. 

A little side-note; SEC doesn't stand for the Southeast Conference; it stands for Speed Eliminates Competition. 

I'm just sayin'...

But good thing for the Big Ten conference and milk shake drinkers alike, there are times when too much speed is a bad thing (have you ever had a brain freeze while eating a Frosty... enough said, thank you). The swinging of a golf club, daughters on prom night and swift moving cars in school zones almost never benefit from moving too fast.

So when a good friend shared with me a conversation she had with an eighty three year "young" women at a funeral yesterday I was reminded once again the importance of avoiding going too fast and spending too much time in the fast lane.

As both women walked into the funeral, both quietly celebrating their chance meeting, the gray haired lady whispered to my friend how lucky she was to have someone as "old" as my friend walk someone as young as her into the building. 

My friend is 40 years old.

Her new friend had 83 years worth of humor... and wisdom.

As the two chatted during the viewing words of wisdom flowed from this women's mouth like water moving down stream; with little effort and even fewer obstacles.

She told my friend; "Tell your children to get into the slow lane and work on living a good life." She added that it's easy to get into trouble and difficult to get out of it. 

She went on to say that each man and women is afforded only so much time on this earth. She quoted Psalm 90:10 like she had been repeating it every hour; every day for her entire life:

The length of our days is seventy years--or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

It's a blessing to become old.

The King James Version spells it out this way;

The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

-Psalm 90:10

She went on to say 70 years is what we get and if you're given more than that it's because of the grace of God.

And during that 70+ years there will be plenty of sorrow and sadness; strife and stress.

Remember, tomorrow is never promised and if you are fortunate to live a long life realize seventy plus years is a short amount of time. Psalm 39:5 states; "You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath." 

I think its obvious; life is short, make it count.

Finally, Ecclesiastes states; "Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies--so the living should take this to heart."

I agree.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not standing in line to go to funeral every day, but I do see the reason why Solomon spoke those words over 2000 years ago. Funerals force us to think; to think about our life; our mortality.

Do yourself a favor...

Joe Bailey in his book; "Slowing Down to the Speed of life" shares with the reader that the key isn't to change your schedule, actions and behaviors; the externals, the key is to change how we think and what we reflect upon, what we place value upon; the internals.

"When we slow down to the speed of life, we tap into a peaceful feeling that permeates our entire being and way of life."

Fast lane; slow lane.

In the former we seldom return with one profitable thought or one solid impression; from the latter we find occasion for serious and deeply edifying thoughts and reflections.

In the fast lane things move too fast, in the slow lane they move fast enough for you to have a conversation with an 83 year "young" women.

A conversation that can change your life, a chance meeting that can encourage you in the direction of working on living the good life... if you slow down and allow it to.

fast lane; slow lane.

Think about it.

How fast are you going?

sbb 11.10.11

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Slow Down . Loose Ends

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Thanks for letting me share this.

Still: remaining in place or at rest; motionless; stationary: to stand still. Free from sound or noise, as a place or persons; silent: to keep still about a matter.

Still I Rise

art by Kevin A. Williams 

  

"Be still and know that I am God!" 

-Psalm 46:10

This past Saturday I wrote a piece entitled; "Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People."  After the piece was posted I was taken back a little by the immediate response the subject matter received. My facebook page was flooded with responses and thank you's for sharing. I indeed was touched, not by my words, but by the words of Renee and by the emotions, and perspective, that developed within me because of her words of wisdom.

Again, I was touched.

  

As I read each response and email there was one that I read before I went to bed that left me speechless, sad and with complete sorrow.

It was from a person I meet when I was a sophomore at Wittenberg and reconnected with a couple of years ago via facebook. 

She was wonderful then and she is still wonderful today.

Instead of commenting on her story, and her words, in detail, I rather let you read this courageous women's words and the two facebook messages that preceded her heartfelt, and poignant, letter.

My wife said it best after she read Becky's words, a women she has never met, when she said; "She's amazing."

I agree.

My wife and I printed off her reflections and put it on our refrigerator to remind everyone that will read it to be still and know that He is God.

Reflect, Be encouraged and Be still. -sbb (287)


 

Allex, Addie, Becky & Dad  

 Facebook exchange:

Becky: I read your friends devotional/testimonial, and have also been where she is, with a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer, i am amazed at the Presence of God in my life like never before. Adversity draws you to the Father like nothing else, I am blessed to know who holds my future....and sleep peacefully every night. Thanks for sharing!!!

Saturday at 9:53pm

  Shawn:Becky, I'm so sorry to hear the news and I'm so encouraged by your words, attitude and your faith. Please write something about where you are right now emotionally, physically, mentally and your faith. I want to post the piece along with a few of my words on my site. My email address is myvsuns@gmail.com. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Shawn

Saturday at 10:07pm

Thanks for letting me share this.... Well Shawn, if I may back up 5 years ago... had a high-paying job, setting my own hours, orchestrating my busy family's life... busy, busy, busy....saying my prayers at night if I didn't fall asleep first, and having a fair amount of stress in my life, trying to do things my way... at 40, came the first diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer... tears, fear, uncertainty all set in...my babies were only 4 and 7... why, why, why were my anxious cries to what I believed was an unfair God... "Can't you see what's happening down here, it's me, Becky... please, not me!"  The family living life... Surgery, chemo and radiation followed, and during that time, my priorities magically shifted around, as I eagerly sought the Lord's will for my life. I grew, spiritually, and finished treatment with a new lease on life... guess what happens when people get comfortable again?   The need for the Lord becomes less and less, and you slip back into your busy routine, shuffling God around, making Him fit in different convenient spots in your life. The busy work schedule and my manuscript that I was creating for my life started right back up again... except for maybe a few more thank-you, that-was-close-prayers, not a whole lot had changed.  Attitude is everything...   I was still in charge of my destiny. 4 years later, out of the blue, with not even one symptom to complain of, a single tumor was found in my lung, a biopsy confirmed that it was the return of the breast cancer. Two weeks later, I had my left upper lung removed, spent 11 days in an ICU with 2 chest tubes...  Husband & Wife ...and lying there, again, I cried out to the Lord, "WHERE ARE YOU?  WHY DON"T YOU CARE?"  And very quietly, I heard His voice in the darkness, "Be still, and know that I am God",  without being overly dramatic, that moment changed my life.  He was the author of my life's story, my creator, He loved me enough to send His Son to die for me, and He was quite able to take care of my new stage 4 cancer diagnosis. I clung to His every promise, read the book of Psalms, and the story of Job again, and have learned to put my future in His hand.   I live everyday thanking the Lord for His Presence in my Life, I do not worry about what my future brings, because I can look past the earthly fears, and know without a doubt, that Jesus will walk this road with me,  "I prayed to the Lord and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears" - (Psalm 34:4). Friends & family are important in every season of life. I understand Paul's thorn in the flesh, "but my power is made perfect in weakness,,," I am weak, I need Jesus everyday, and I have now been able to actually thank Him for the adversity in my life, because I am such a better place than I was before. Self-reliant no more, I eagerly seek the Lord in every moment of my life.  Thanks for letting me share this.   The last diagnosis was last August, and I did chemo again after my surgery, and now, there is no evidence of cancer anywhere right now!  Praise God!  So, I refuse to let anxiety overtake my life, instead, choosing to let the Lord lead me, one day at a time. God bless you Shawn, hug your kids, everyday!!!  Becky

Mom & her beautiful girls... 

...No Becky, thank you for sharing... thank you very much. Shawn

 Still . The Commodores

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Why do bad things happen to good people?

Life: the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

Life sucks sometimes... 

 

Over the past couple of weeks I have found it difficult to make any sense of most anything. I have felt distant and lost spiritually; I find myself struggling with defeated thinking and have fallen prey to poor behavior. I find myself asking less questions and caring even less if I ever get an answer, any answer. I'm perplexed with the fact that past struggles have the ability to rear their ugly head anytime making one (me) feel that they (I) have no control over anything they (me) think, do and say.

And then I read an email that is part of a daily devotion I receive daily from our church, Cypress Wesleyan. 

The "Daily Devo" was written by a good friend of my wife and me.

She is truly a wonderful person.

Psalm 9:9-10 states; "The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Below is the piece that Renee wrote that is evidence of the scripture you just read. Bad things do happen to good people every day, I can't give you any explanation other than that's life.

And some time life sucks, but that doesn't mean your attitude and outlook has to.

And when life does suck God is right there with you if chose to invite Him in.

After reading her words for the hundredth time I realize I have so little to complain about and so much to be thankful for.

I really do... we all do. 

Today's piece was entirely for me... I needed to read Renee's words. -sbb (311)
 

Renee & Claudia

 

"Daily Devo" 

Why do bad things happen to good people? 

That's a great question. 

I guess you could say some "bad things" have happened to me in the past couple years. Whether or not I am "good people" depends who you ask : )!! 

I found out a few years ago that my husband was not happy and pretty much done with being married.  While going through the divorce, he lost his job. This meant no child support and recently the kids and I also lost our home. Now that I feel like I have had plenty of issues to deal with emotionally and financially, there is one more problem to add. My mom (the only family and help I have here in Columbus) has been diagnosed with a "cognitive impairment." This has left her with a lot of short term memory problems and the inability to help with the children. 

Grandma & Claudia

This is a big deal because she was the only caregiver we had for my son who has Down syndrome.  Because of his special needs, you can't just sign him up for any before or after school program or ask a friend to watch him. 

Mom & Elijah

My life lately has just seemed like one "bad thing" after another! 

God allows "life" to happen which means bad things will happen.

BUT, I find it so amazing that I have NEVER felt alone through all this.  I have hit rock bottom, sprawled out crying, sad and desperate, but NEVER, NEVER alone!  It is hard to explain, but I have felt God's presence no matter what.  I would not trade anything that has happened because it has been a wake-up call on my spiritual life. 

Claudia

I grew up with what most would call an "easy life." By this I mean a Christian home, loving parents, great childhood, and lots of friends.  I have always gone to church, always prayed for my meals, and said my prayers before bed. 

Until recently, I did not know what it meant to "cry out to Jesus."  And, now I do.  I feel so close to Him through this.  How in the world can I be at the lowest point in all aspects of my life, but want to yell out my car window . . . 

"THANK YOU GOD THAT I AM ALIVE AND FOR LOVING ME!!!"  

You just have to experience it!  The bad things that happen...  it’s just life.  

The good part is God putting His protective arms around us, never leaving us, and even turning the bad into something positive!  

Elijah & Claudia: Beautiful!

Two questions:

1. Can you share a low time in your life when you felt God's presence in spite of circumstances?

2. How can we, as believers, support and love each other through these storms of life? Name some practical ways and pray about who God would have you come alongside in your life to support and encourage.

 O-O-H Child  . Five Stairsteps

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Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll get brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll be brighter

Some day, yeah
We'll put it together and we'll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter

Ooh-oo child, things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll be brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll be brighter

Some day, yeah
We'll put it together and we'll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter

Some day, some day, some day
We'll get it together and we'll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, some day, some day
We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter

Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll be brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things'll be brighter

Right now
You just wait and see how things are gonna be
Right now.

In The Middle

I really don't know where to begin.

As I began this piece I realized that I didn't want to begin with a word and it's definition, nor did I want to pick a little "ditty" at the end of this piece with a youtube link.

I didn't want to attempt to write some quasi-interesting opening paragraph with pictures that would give the piece life.

I didn't want to tackle life issues or try my hand at preaching my beliefs.

What I did want to say is that there are 66 books in the Bible (39 in the Old Testament/ 27 in the New Testament). There are roughly 31,173 verses, 807,361+ words and 1189 chapters in the Bible.

And in the Heart of God's word, sandwiched between 594 verses preceding it and 594 verses following it are 13 words:

"It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people."

-Psalm 118:8

I needed to hear that; I needed to read that.

So many times I put my confidence in everything but God. I have put it in relationships, jobs, past circumstances and another's word. I have put it in money, clothes, cars and games of chance.

I have put my confidence in position, power and prestige. I have put it in physical appearance, verbal ability and sheer personality.

And I have vainly placed my confidence in knowledge and intellect.

And with all of that there are times that I need to be reminded that everything I have is from God, and that every ounce of confidence I entertain in my mind and trust that is produced in my heart should be firmly placed on God's shoulders and on God's word, and His promises.

In the middle of every storm and every success, in the middle of every trial and every triumph there is God if I acknowledge Him and invite Him.

I need to be reminded daily that there is no storm to big and no success so small that He doesn't want to take part in; that there is no trial to painful and triumph to grand that He doesn't want to be acknowledged and invited in.

In the end, it is better for me to trust God than to trust myself in every area of my life.

No clever close, no famous quote...

Just wanted to share.

-sbb

College GameDay

Penalty: a punishment imposed or incurred for a violation of law or rule. A disadvantage imposed upon one of the competitors or upon one side for infraction of the rules of a game, sport, etc.  

Dirty Laundry... 

Every Saturday in the Bailey home is a day full of excitement; a day full of anticipation, conversation and participation. The TV is turned on early and it's tuned to College GameDay on ESPN (channel 206 on DirectTV). 

In the Bailey household, every man, women, and child (that is a lot of people in our household) loves college football.

GameDay: Desmond, Fowler, Corso & Herby.

We love every sentimental story and the special guest picks; from Desmond's smile to checking out Herbstreit's fashion choice and "watching" Corso's GameDay pick. We as a family love everything that is College GameDay except for the fact ESPN will not be going to the University of Florida anytime soon because my beloved Gators aren't very good... or relevant.

Nice shoes: Gucci works every time.
 

Oh well. There's always Michigan. (My six year old son, Ryan, calls them "The Michigan's")

My motto is: Go Gators, Go Blue or Go Home!

Anyway, college game day had a little twist in our home this past weekend. We called an audible as they say. This past Saturday I had the pleasure of going to the Ohio State vs. Michigan State game at "The Shoe" with a friend, my father and my fifteen year old son, Bryce.

Bryce & Me at The Shoe!

 

Going to an OSU game is special and never gets old. The energy, the Skull Session, the people, the fanfare and the sea of red is unexplainable and at times over whelming. 

And then there is the band; truly the best in the country every year.

Great 1st impression: George Ferris & Me! 

(No he is not my son... some of you will get the joke, but he is part and parcel of what is good about about college sports.) 

 

Like I said, college football is special and so is "The Shoe."

Very special. 

But the one thing that I was reminded of this past weekend is why I stay home and enjoy watching it on my 60' flat screen TV.

And it's because of the fans. 

You know, the fan that has had too much to drink, too much to say and too much ignorance for any one person to have to endure for three hours on a Saturday afternoon.

That fan(s) sat right in front of my son and me this past Saturday, and we knew immediately that we were in for a long afternoon.

And a long afternoon it was, and by the middle of the third quarter I found myself in a fight with a college student half my age. Yes, that is what I said... "a fight."

I don't care to rehash everything that took place, but what I do remember is completely losing every fiber of my being and every little bit of a mind that I have when the guy started cursing at my son. At that very moment I lost it and grabbed the young man by his throat and said; "If you ever talk to my son like that again I will..." then he threw a punch that grazed my nose.

I never had a chance to finish my sentence. 

It was on.

In the end I chose to sit down and not embarrass myself any further.

I blew it. 

I knew better and I acted like I didn't know anything. 

It has been said that when you know better you do better. And because I believe in that truism I either forgot I knew better or I really didn't know any better to begin with. 

I like to think I knew better, and in the end, I might have known better but I acted like I didn't know anything.

Does anything I just said make any sense? 
 

I constantly tell my kids to avoid trouble and "not to make eye contact with animals" when in a hostile environment. But on this day I didn't take my own advice. I chose to become part of these guy's vortex of immature and poor behavior. I chose to be part of their conversation, only to open myself up to possible harm and for sure embarrassment. 

Proverbs 17:14

In the end, this unfortunate event has been on my mind and heavy on my heart for two long days. What I write and what I believe is very important to me, and when I had a chance, a golden opportunity, to put my belief(s) into practice I failed.

I failed miserably.

I have always said that knowledge is the knowing and the wisdom is the doing. I realized this past Saturday that I have much more knowledge than I do wisdom.

Anyone can learn equations and formulas; read the greatest literature ever written and know the Periodic Table of the Elements by heart (the only elements I ever knew was The Elements: Earth, Wind & Fire...Those guys were great), quote scriptures and memorize the books of the bible, but a wise person is a person who is able to apply what he or she has learned into their daily life through maturity, self discipline and self control.

I failed to do that.

Proverbs 17:14 states this:

"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;

so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."

So there it is.

The ignorance wasn't only the fight itself, but starting (being a part of) a conversation that could lead to quarrel.

The penalty was on me this time, but it won't be the next time. After I apologized to the two young men (OK, drunk young men) I also apologized to my son, Bryce.

I realized that I was wrong. 

My son said repeatedly that it wasn't my fault, but that it wasn't a great idea to call them a douche-bag.

He has a point.

Bryce also added; "Dad, that guy didn't realize you were so strong and I didn't realize you were so quick."

Thanks Bryce for the kind words, but your Dad didn't realize he was so dumb.

Next time I want us both to realize, and experience, the beauty and the power of making a good and wise decision.

Next time.

But until then I think my new motto is; "Go Gators, Go Blue or STAY Home!"

sbb  3.10.11

1072

Mama Said Knock You Out . LL Cool J

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