"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25
Midnight Blue (1963): Jazz guitarist Kenny Burrell featuring Stanley Turrentine on tenor saxophone, Major Holley on double bass, Bill English on drums and Ray Barretto on conga. Midnight Blue is one of Burrell’s best-known works for Blue Note Records. In 2005, NPR included the album in its "Basic Jazz Library", describing it as "one of the great jazzy blues records".

He said, She said...

"You are not designed for everyone to like you - Wise Man Phil

FRAGILE: Sting, Yo Yo Ma, Dominic Miller & Chris Botti

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Tim Tackett (October 27, 1963 - May 16, 2011)

Brief: lasting or taking a short time; of short duration: a brief walk; a brief stay in the country.

Two years ago today many of us lost a great man and a dear friend. Today I would like to take this time to once again remember how truly wonderful Tim Tackett was as son, husband, and father. He was tremendous and he is sorely missed. - Shawn (5.16.13)

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful."
-2 Timothy 4:7

Tim, Cam & Kym

1963 started like most years; with hope and promise. Martin Luther King delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech, the Beatles released their first big hit single in the US entitled "Please Please Me", our nation was experiencing Camelot while John Fitzgerald Kennedy was our country's 35th President of the United States and the postage stamp was a mere 5 cents. It was also a time of great tragedy as our country mourned the assassination of JFK and we watched as a nation as our military delved deeper into the Vietnam War.
Other highlights of 1963 was the Supreme Court decision in the case of Gideon vs. Wainwright that ordered state courts, under the Sixth Amendment of the Constitution, to provide counsel in criminal cases for defendants who were unable to afford their own attorneys. American households had the TV turned to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins on NBC, the Dick Van Dyke Show was on CBS and housewives all around the country were glued to their black & white TV sets watching the soap opera series debut of General Hospital on ABC. In 1963 major league baseball voted to expand the strike zone, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle both signed contracts worth a $100,000 each (a record at the time), one Michael Jeffery Jordon was born and Loyola beat Cincinnati 60-58 in OT to win the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship. The Academy Awards choose Lawrence of Arabia best picture and Gregory Peck best actor for his portrayal of Atticus Finch in the movie To Kill a Mockingbird.

But it was on October 27, 1963 the best role was played by Roy and Gladys Tackett as they became the proud parents of Richard Timothy Tackett.

3rd row from the top and 5 over from the left...

Tim completed the Tackett family as he became the fifth child and the little brother to Rod, Cheryl, Teresa and Roger.

Jerry   "Tiger   " Rice & Timmy (1979)

One of five children and the recipient of loving parents, Tim learned at a very young age the importance of a family, the value of great parents and the value of being a great spouse and parent. In the book "Anna Karenina" Leo Tolstoy wrote that "all happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". Tim and his siblings experienced the joy of a happy family. Their parents provided safety, comfort, and happiness that is readily recognized by all and is evident by the way Tim shared those qualities with his wife and son.

A Family: Mom, son & Dad

As I write this piece I find it hard to speak in terms of death concerning Tim. Tim was my back-court teammate on our high school basketball team, he was a fellow employee at the Hilliard Pool when we were teenagers and he was a good friend. 

A very good friend.

Life and death has proven over time to be great educators and this extremely sad situation is no different.

Death has a way of making all of us, if just for a moment, come to grips with our own mortality. My mother often says that "life is precious, life is tender, life is fragile and tomorrow is never promised." I couldn't agree more. Life is fragile and tomorrow is never promised; in a word life is short. As sobering as these words are, James 4:14 shares with us that we as humans are no more than "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes". Psalms 39:4-5 states:

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away. My life is no longer than the width of my hand. An entire lifetime is just a moment to you; human existence is but a breath."

We would all do well to be mindful of those words. 

Life is fragile; life is short and tomorrow is never promised.

Tim, Jeff Fugitt & Tony Moore

Sadly enough it is through Tim's death I'm reminded of the extraordinary man he was. It would be easy to pour over the many athletic accolades that Tim earned while growing up. He was an outstanding baseball player that earned team MVP, 1st team All-State recognition and a scholarship to attend Ohio State University to play baseball. I believe Tim to be one of the top three baseball players Hilliard has ever seen. Tim was also a celebrated basketball player while at Hilliard where he was awarded all-conference and all-districts honors, as well as, team MVP selected by his teammates and coaching staff. But with all of that it was Tim the man that was tremendous. Tim was silent, but strong, firm yet fair, and most of all he was kind without being weak.

Tim Tackett: All State baseball player.

Tim was a special person and in my heart he still is.

And in my heart he always will be special.
Many times in death people are propelled to a stratosphere they didn't entertain while living. Unfortunately, but with good intention, people often falsely opine about the greatness of an individual when they were alive. Often times a blind eye is turned to negative or less than flattering behavior committed during a person's life. This is not the case with Tim. I can honestly say that I never heard one comment about Tim that was harmful, hurtful or one that questioned his character. The only negative comment I remember being uttered about Tim was that he was too "unselfish" as a basketball player and that he should have shot the ball more than he did, but that was Tim.

Tim was unselfish to the core.

Cameron & Tim

In closing, as I reflect upon the loss of Tim my thoughts are focused upon three people: Tim's mother, Cameron & Kym.


 Words cannot explain the deep sadness I feel for you and your family. The man you raised in Tim touched many lives. My life was one of them. Tim was a tremendous husband, father and friend. He treated people the way they should be treated. Tim always treated me, my sister and my parents with respect and honor. I especially appreciated the way he continued to treat my parents throughout his entire life. My parents were big fans of Tim growing up; they thought the world of him. There are few people that I have met like Tim and I feel that I won't be meeting others like him in the near future. Psalm 34:17 says "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." May God be with you. May He sooth your pain and bless you with the peace that passes all understanding.

Your father was a good man. I will say it again; your father was a good man. I think it is important to point out Cameron that we live in a society that many times applaud the ordinary and forgets about what is truly extraordinary. Your dad spent every day striving to make you and your mother's life better... someday it will be your turn to do the same for your family. Your dad worked every day to provide for his family and he did it without hesitation or without complaining. That is what a real man does. Your father was a real man. The only thing I would ask you to do is get out a dictionary and look up the word extraordinary. Once you find the definition write it down on a piece of paper using your best handwriting. Once you have written it down find your favorite picture of your dad and tape both, the definition of extraordinary and the picture of your dad, to the back of your bedroom door. This way each day when you wake and when you go to bed you will be reminded what extraordinary looks like. Your dad was one extraordinary man.
You are one of my favorite people. The time we spent together last year at Cameron's baseball game left me admiring what you and Tim had built. Both of you cultivated an environment where love could grow and fostered an atmosphere of kindness and humility. Someday your future daughter-in-law will thank you for providing such a wonderful home for Cam to grow up in and setting an example of how good family life can truly be. I often told Tim that he "out kicked his coverage" when he got you to say I do. You are a special person and Cameron is fortunate to have you as his mother. The only scripture I want to leave you with is from the book of Psalms. Life has served you with a horrible blow, but there is One who understands your pain. Put your trust in Him. Psalm 62:5-7 states:

"I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me." 

Kym, Tim & Missy...

Kym, many people love you and want to support you anyway they can, but our love and support can never match the protective, supportive and loving hand of God. Your life will never be the same but that doesn't mean that it will automatically be worse... just different. God has a specific plan for you and your life... "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope". 

Father & Son 

Finally, the love and admiration I have for Tac cannot adequately be explained or described at this moment. No words make sense to me nor am I able to truly communicate my feelings for Tim. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face I can only say thank you.

Tim, I could never thank you enough for being such a good person and at the same time being such a good friend.

I enjoyed the time we spent together and I thank you for the many memories you left me with.

Your dear friend, 

Rita, Eddie Welch & Tac

"There are 'friends' who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother"
-Proverbs 18:24

sbb 17.5.11

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Difference

Praise: the act of expressing approval or admiration; commendation; laudation.

 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
-Proverbs 30:30-31

As we celebrate Mother's Day  today I'm reminded once more how fortunate I truly am. Few people on this earth has had as many positive experiences surrounding mothers and motherhood than I. I've had the distinct pleasure to have "three" mother-in-laws (not at the same time mind you. I did enjoy "Big Love" on HBO for a hot second but I'm not a practicing Mormon), besides no one can really say they have lived unless they've had three mother-in-laws in their lifetime. It's been great! (a smiley face with all teeth). Then there are the two ex-wives,  ex-girlfriend, and my wife of 6 1/2 years that are the {mothers} to my "six" children, and lastly, there is my wonderful mother. You would think I would just stop here. But let's not... I'm having so much fun!

Mothers are special.

I think we would all agree with that statement. Many of us understand just how great and important our mothers are every day, not just on Mother's Day. Many a mother's greatness is evident to all daily. I think it's also important to recognize that mothers and grandmothers lost their lives in the past years and because of that this weekend can be a very difficult time for a lot of people. There are also children out there that didn't have a good relationship with their mother or don't know who their mother is. That is equally painful. 

Days of recognition, such as Mother's Day, can be special, but they also can be a reminder of deep pain. 

So with that, I wanted to honor the "mothers" in my life. To my 1st mother-in-law, Karen, thank you for being so good to Logan & Austin all these years, they're special men partly because of you, and thank you for treating me like a son the past 27 years. I always didn't deserve your love, and prayers, but you gave them to me anyway. Thank you. To my first wife, Tracy, thank you for raising our children to have a faith in God when I was incapable of doing so myself because My needs trumped everyone else's needs. I believed in God, but I didn't live a life that represented God's transformative power, thank you for showing the way daily to our children. I also want to thank you for always putting them first and never speaking poorly to them concerning me. I can never repay you for those two acts you've spent a lifetime displaying.

To my second mother-in-law, BT, though you are no longer with us, thank you for making your life about your children, their spouses, and your grandchildren. Thank you for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself or behaved in a way that wouldn't merit confidence from anyone. To my second wife, Debi, thank you for making Bryce's future a priority "today". I could never have afforded to send our son to Columbus Academy for the past 12 years, but because of your sacrifice our son has a significant chance to experience some truly wonderful things in the future. Bryce is exceptional. Thank you for sacrificing your present for his future. 

To Kelly, the mother of my precious Addison, thank you for always protecting and championing the relationship between me and our son. I appreciate it more than you know. I also want to thank you for giving him such great athletic genes. I know, I know I'm shocked too that I just said that. It was extremely difficult for me to type those words. A special thanks should be given to your Dad for Addison's athletic ability too, and to your mother for always giving me the benefit of the doubt. :) 

Next, to my current mother-in-law, Terry, and the one I will be spending the rest of my life being her forever indebted son-in-law. I can't thank you enough for all the sacrifice and countless acts of kindness and love you have showered upon my family. Thank you of not holding my past against me. I realize that I'm not a mother-in-laws dream based on my track record. I could go on forever about all that you have done for us, for me, but it is the daughter you raised that I'm most thankful for. You raised a wonderful daughter that has made all the difference in my life. Thank you. 

And then there was two. 

First, my wife, Ronnie. Thank you for allowing God to use you in saving my life. From the the first time we met you showed concern for me. I still remember the first words you ever said to me; "you look so sad." To this day I still don't know whats more amazing, the fact that you were correct in your observation or that you cared enough to share with me your concern. Either way, I will never forget that moment. Thank you for loving our wonderful children, Ryan & Reese, and my children, with the same passion and compassion; care and consistency. You will never know how many times I lay my head on my pillow at night with tears in my eyes, and peace in my heart, because of who you are. Thank you for everything. I have no desire to live life without you… ever. 

And then there is my mother, the spiritual patriarch of our family. Because of you there will be generation(s) of believers in God that will have the last name Bailey. Thank you for living out your faith in deed more than in word. Proverbs 31: 30 states; "...a women who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." Thank you Mom for always putting our family second only to your devotion and faith in Jesus Christ. Thank you, thank you very much. I love you and I praise you.

Truth be told every encounter with each of these women has {not} been great. I'm sure your not just now figuring that out. I've hurt each one of these women more than {they} deserve and I have been forgiven more than {I} deserve. For that I'm grateful and humbled. It is difficult for me to forgive myself for my many examples of poor behavior.

Finally, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. God understood man's need, and because of this He made a companion that would "help" him. And though Eve was to be Adam's companion in a husband/wife relationship, I believe that Eve represents the true character of every women. A {nature} that, when accepted and expressed correctly, thinks of others before it thinks of it self. It is the women's God-given nature that is the one quality that separates women from everything and everyone on this earth. At the end of the day, {Women} have the ability to do more than make a difference. 

They are the difference.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Culture War: Tebow & Collins

Celebrate: to praise widely or to present to widespread and favorable public notice, as through newspapers or novels: a novel celebrating the joys of marriage; the countryside celebrated in the novels of Hardy.

"Culture War"

Yesterday I posted a comment on Facebook that generated meaningful dialogue and contrasting point of views. My post shared a picture and posed this question?:

"I wonder why {he} is not celebrated for his courage? Not trying to be smart or cute. Just a thought..."

Tim Tebow was released from the New York Jets today. 
Here is Tim's response:
Proverbs 3:5-6 states: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
Now before I go any further this piece is going to be somewhat brief and will be void of any attempt to make a case for or against homosexuality (if you care to read my views on that topic please read my piece entitled: "I'm Gay"). I'm also not here to marginalize Jason Collins or champion Tim Tebow. 

What I want to discuss is why there is such a different standard on how our media chooses to cover different topics and personalities within our culture? Why are some people marginalized because of what they believe and others are viewed as heroes, and are celebrated? This piece is less about sexual preference or christian belief, and more about what our culture, and media, choose to encourage and applaud.

With that being said, I realize that both of those topics have everything to do with how stories are reported and why certain agendas are supported within our society, and our country's media, while others are not.

Jason Collins

Let's face it, if it was only about sports {football & basketball} you would never here their names. Since leaving Florida Tebow has been a "BELOW ADEQUATE" NFL QB, that has been highlighted, and ridiculed, more for his christian beliefs than his play, which for the most part has been poor. Jason Collins, on the other hand, has been a journeymen for 12 years in the NBA that has been foul prone and limited offensively during his career. He averaged 3.6 ppg {2,596 points} and 2.8 fouls {2,026 fouls} per game over his career. 

At the end of the day, everyone who is remotely familiar with me knows how much I respect, appreciate, and admire Tim Tebow. On the flip side I have along admired Collins, and his twin brother, Jarron, for being standout student(s) that have excelled in the classroom at Harvard-Westlake School and Stanford, as well as, on the hardwood. It has been a dream of mine for many years now to have a child go to an Ivy League institution, a military academy and Notre Dame or Stanford. 

I have a lot of kids so I'm able to have this dream. Read the "The Black Brady Bunch" and you will see what I'm talking about.

I apologize for getting off point and becoming distracted. With as many kids that I have it can become extremely difficult to remain focused in even the smallest of things. 

When reviewing the mainstream media's coverage of Tebow and Collins it's a tale of two different stories with the same agenda. The reporting on both athletes is less about sport and more about the dismissal of christian belief and the support of homosexuality. 

Should we be surprised?

I would reply, no. We are just following the path of a secular society.

I think most Americans would agree that as we've become more "progressive" as a nation, and in doing so we've become a more secularized society. A secular society as Os Guinness defines is a society where religious ideas, institutions and interpretations lose their social significance. In another words, if you {have} to claim to be a religious person with strong religious beliefs and values, you are to do so within a secular society quietly, and to keep those beliefs out any discussions surrounding our social institutions, and public policy and debate.

To be a christian today in our society we are directly and indirectly, openly and subliminally ask to keep our beliefs to ourselves. We are ask to be humans with a chest but no heart; a people with a brain, but no thought or opinion.

When Tebow shares his faith people are annoyed. When Collins shares with us his sexual preference he is lionized and celebrated.

I find it interesting that as a society, framed by a majority of media outlets across this country, no other group is ask to keep their beliefs and opinions to themselves like the christian believers are.

USA Today: 5.2.13 (pg 9.) (Toon Talk) 
 How many "negative" characterizations or depictions of Jason Collins, or any gay person 
for that matter, have you seen in mainstream media?

What if the media, and Hollywood, treated the "Gay Community" in the same manner as the christian community is treated. Below are the words of Peter Roff for US News & World Report:

It's a study in contrasts. The fellow who represents what everyone seems to think is the cultural orthodoxy – Tebow – is practically chased off the field in a flurry of social media cat calls while Collins, who represents the outcasts and the unacceptable, gets the call from the president.

 Considering all that, it seems there's a little bit of cultural dishonesty being perpetrated on the American public by the New York-to-Washington mediaplex and the folks out in Hollywood. To hear them tell it, the country still perceives open homosexuals in the ways it did before Stonewall while Christians carry the day as they did in the days of Cotton Mather. And that's just not the case. 

Look at the programs on broadcast television and basic cable, as my friend Janine Turner – formerly of "Friday Night Lights" and "Northern Exposure" and who now hosts a daily radio program on KPRC 950AM out of Houston if you use iHeartRadio – has suggested on more than one occasion. There are more homosexual characters appearing regularly on television right now than those who hold openly conservative or Christian political views. 

More often than not, those who are the conservatives or the Christians – if they appear at all – are the butt of the joke in the comedy, the killer in the cop show, or the malefactors of environmental evil in the crusading lawyer dramas. This is not to suggest that there ought to be quotas or anything of the sort; it's just evidence that gays increasingly get cultural acceptance while conservatives and Christians are treated like invaders from another planet.

I also like this tweet from @sportsfanatic62 that appeared in the USA Today yesterday:

"brave and courageous, the bible says his choice is sinful, but it says same about divorce. Lets not be hypocrite."

Well said.

I think it is important to note that I don't think being a martyr for the christian faith is the way to go. Our world has enough martyrs. Being a martyr is something I'm not interested in. 

Again, my point is very simple: Tebow, or anyone for that matter, should not be celebrated for sharing their views on who they believe they are in Christ. Their personal relationship with Jesus Christ need not be trumpeted throughout the media, but why is it so easy for so many to look at him with a negative eye because of it?

Reality vs Agenda 

Tebow is a very poor NFL QB, that is without question, but so was Troy Smith, who also won a Heisman in college like Tebow. You here very little about Troy Smith... even in Columbus, Oh.  Then there is JaMarcus Russell, the first overall pick of the Oakland Raiders in the 2007 NFL Draft. The Raiders signed Russell to a contract worth $61 million with $32 million guaranteed. Russell played three seasons with the Raiders, compiling 7–18 record as a starter. Due to his inconsistent play the Raiders released him on May 6, 2010. Russell was later arrested on drug charges. How much has the mainstream media covered Russell with an irritating glance?  Do you here about him? No you do not. The reason you don't is because both athletes are not out spoken Christians that pray on the sideline. But Jason Collins shares with the public his sexual preference that fits the agenda of the media, which he is free to choose and do so, and he is celebrated.

Ask yourself; how would Tim Tebow be viewed by the media if he was pro-choice and he happened to be gay? The narrative surrounding that young man from a media standpoint would be completely different. 

He would be a cultural hero then.

In closing, when I posted my remarks on Facebook I was implying that Tebow is often looked at and reported by the media with a {rolling} eye for being a upfront and vocal Christian. He believes what he believes, but when others take a stand for what they believe they are a cultural hero that are to be celebrated. As I mentioned before, I have nothing against Jason Collins, and I'm more than convinced that he wouldn't care if I did. I will say again; I like and admire him very much.

But why the difference in the "reported" appeal and the support of a belief? 

At the end of the day, I think it's important to encourage honesty, truth and courage, but I think it is equally important to be careful what we celebrate as a society. What we have chosen to do as a society is to celebrate the one and only {god} we care about: our-self. We have relegated unto our self the authority to redefine marriage and to decide if another human being should live or die. Our beliefs have become centered around what is truth to the individual. We are playing {god}.

God didn't intend it to be this way. 

We have went to great lengths as a society to desacralize the sacred. Marriage, sex and human life were created by God for good, not for selfish pursuit and vulgarity. God's plan was to celebrate the sacredness of those institutions within the framework of his commandments that we're placed there to protect us, not to harm us. But what we as a society have chosen to do is to do what we think is best, all the while, doing so with the agenda of putting to death accountability and eliminating any absolute truths. The only absolute truth that stands today is that there are {no} absolute truths at all. 

When a secular society begins to eliminate the truths of God, and begins to become gods unto themselves the end result is a country that places it's foundation on the elimination of accountability, shame and guilt. Just observe how teens and adults alike share very private information and images online without concern or shame. Scary. To many it is not.

God placed those legitimate qualities of shame, guilt and accountability within us to protect us from ourselves. I believe He knew what He was doing in doing so.

Think for a minute if we chose to drive our cars in the same fashion society has decided to redefine truth, and that truth is only what is truth to the individual. Imagine drivers deciding to no longer abide by the traffic lights, traffic signs, and painted lines on the road. Picture in your mind cars going where they want to go without the framework of laws and absolute truths preventing them from going where they want to go with little, or no regard, for the consequences of their actions?

The picture I have in my mind is chaos. And that is exactly what we have in our country today; chaos

There is a reason we don't allow drivers to drink and drive. It's because drunk drivers are impaired drivers that are of danger to everyone they might come in contact with. As a country we're driving drunk, and the drink of choice is a combination self importance, selfish desire, and Godless thinking.

And what we have created and developed is a very unsafe environment for everyone involved to live, an enviroment that is littered with media supported cultural wars, the eradication of accountability, shame and guilt, and an eye pointed towards a Godless country.

What we truly have is chaos. Do yourself a favor and tighten up on your world history, and see what comes after chaos?

Let me help you little bit; it's not pretty.

sbb 3.5.13