Conflicts

Arbitrator: a person chosen to decide a dispute or settle differences, esp. one formally empowered to examine the facts and decide the issue.

One thing most of us are familiar with is conflict. Plenty of us have too many of them and they often last too long. Below are a few thoughts on conflict:

1. Clashes will continue to occur for the better part of our life. Good people, bad people and everyone in between will disagree. Sadly, most of our disagreements are trivial and petty, and are not that difficult to solve. 

2. Not all conflicts are wrong. Some things are worth taking a stand and fighting for... only you can decide what those things are that is worth fighting for. Keep things in perspective while deciding, getting cut off on the road isn't one of them. the key is to agree to disagree without being disagreeable.

3. All conflicts do not have to become personal. We all would do well to remind ourselves a difference in opinion isn't the end of the world. People are different and so are their perspectives AND opinions. 

4. Most of the time when a disagreement can't, or isn't, resolved it's because selfishness is at the core. James 4:1-3 states:

 ¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

-Be a part of the solution not the problem...stop being selfish.

5. Being an arbitrator is the key. We should all strive to be the person that ends the conflict. The only way this can be accomplished is when one party gives up its right to be right; they often relinquish control in the situation. This takes maturity. The ultimate goal is to have restoration not punishment. The right attitude to display is one that is full of grace not force. Ask God to aid you in finding the common ground with the other person... often you will see that God is the common ground. He loves you and he loves the other person just the same. 

Finally, in all conflict decide that it is better to end one than to begin one. Be patient with the other party as God is patient with you... and trust me He is very patient with all of us. 

sbb  15.12.10

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Don't Be Cruel  .  Elvis Presley

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