Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;
he has become my salvation.”
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;
he has become my salvation.”
-Isaiah 12:2
Relationships
are tricky. Always have been, always will be. The sad thing is much of the difficulty we experience is our fault. Many of us
struggle in relationships, walk away from marriages and sabotage both
because we often underestimate the power of sacrifice, freely entertain
selfishness and lack knowledge of a relationship's purpose.
We don't
know what we don't know in the area of relationships.
When discussing
relationships, specifically marriage, I think it's important to
acknowledge the very beginning, the genesis if you will, of the
marital institution. In the beginning God created and ordained the
institution of marriage. Genesis 2:24 states:
" That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
Marriage
finds its foundation in God with the intention of two becoming one. In
the same vein of having children versus raising children, it is much
easier to get married than to stay married. Statistics conclude that 48%
of all marriages end in divorce. We often hang ourselves in the area of marriage and relationships.
Like I said, we don't know what we don't know.
The miserable statistics surrounding marriage and divorce speak to
importance of educating ourselves in the area of building a successful
marriage. I've found "five" truths to be helpful in empowering us to
live better lives with the one we love.
I know a little about this topic; I've failed tremendously in this area.
Allow me to share.
Number one; little things add up.
Read Galatians 6:7-9. It reminds us to never give up doing the right
thing; doing what is good. If we do so we will reap a harvest in due
time. It's our responsibility to "do good" to one another and to keep
winning our spouse's heart. The little things really do add up. They can
add up in our favor or not. The choice is ours.
Secondly, expect conflict.
Ephesians 4:26 states; "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry." Conflict is normal and necessary.
Conflict resolution is the key. When there is a conflict stay on point.
Tackle the problem not the person; remain issue based not person based.
Thirdly, communication; good communication is essential. Communication is the key to unlock our greatest relational future.
Number four, develop true intimacy.
The best way to do this is to pray together as a couple. Do it
everyday. There are different roads that lead to intimacy. For women,
talking leads to intimacy. Men starve their wives soul when they don't
communicate or talk with them. Listening is vitally important too. Sex
leads to intimacy for men. I know, "shocker". Men are physical creatures
that respond to touch, sight and sexual gratification. Sex is important
to men. With all of this its important to remember the number one need
for all people, whether communicated or not, is to be unconditionally
loved and accepted. True intimacy can only develop where unconditional
love is present.
The fifth point is to choose commitment. Don't
wish, hope, fantasize or dream; just choose. Choose commitment to one
another over all else.
In the end, I believe all these points to be
significant, but none individually, or collectively, are more essential
than a married couple having a faith in Jesus Christ. A faith that is
the cornerstone of their relationship and foundation of their marriage.
Sadly christian couples divorce too, but those that devoutly, and
consistently, attend church, are involved in a "small group" and pray
together have a much lower divorce rate than those who don't. When a couple adds God to the
equation they become as strong as a three stranded rope; they become
three that equals One.
sbb 5.11.12
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Do You Love Me? . Jonathan Butler
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