"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25
Midnight Blue (1963): Jazz guitarist Kenny Burrell featuring Stanley Turrentine on tenor saxophone, Major Holley on double bass, Bill English on drums and Ray Barretto on conga. Midnight Blue is one of Burrell’s best-known works for Blue Note Records. In 2005, NPR included the album in its "Basic Jazz Library", describing it as "one of the great jazzy blues records".

He said, She said...

"You are not designed for everyone to like you - Wise Man Phil

FRAGILE: Sting, Yo Yo Ma, Dominic Miller & Chris Botti

Monday, November 5, 2012

Three Equals ONE

Relationship: a connection, association, or involvement. Connection between persons by blood or marriage.

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;
    he has become my salvation.”
-Isaiah 12:2

Relationships are tricky. Always have been, always will be. The sad thing is much of the difficulty we experience is our fault. Many of us struggle in relationships, walk away from marriages and sabotage both because we often underestimate the power of sacrifice, freely entertain selfishness and lack knowledge of a relationship's purpose. 

We don't know what we don't know in the area of relationships. 

When discussing relationships, specifically marriage, I think it's important to acknowledge the very beginning, the genesis if you will, of the marital institution. In the beginning God created and ordained the institution of marriage. Genesis 2:24 states:  

" That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."  

Marriage finds its foundation in God with the intention of two becoming one. In the same vein of having children versus raising children, it is much easier to get married than to stay married. Statistics conclude that 48% of all marriages end in divorce. We often hang ourselves in the area of marriage and relationships.

Like I said, we don't know what we don't know.

The miserable statistics surrounding marriage and divorce speak to importance of educating ourselves in the area of building a successful marriage. I've found "five" truths to be helpful in empowering us to live better lives with the one we love. 

I know a little about this topic; I've failed tremendously in this area. 

Allow me to share.

Number one; little things add up. Read Galatians 6:7-9. It reminds us to never give up doing the right thing; doing what is good. If we do so we will reap a harvest in due time. It's our responsibility to "do good" to one another and to keep winning our spouse's heart. The little things really do add up. They can add up in our favor or not. The choice is ours.  

Secondly, expect conflict. Ephesians 4:26 states; "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." Conflict is normal and necessary. Conflict resolution is the key. When there is a conflict stay on point. Tackle the problem not the person; remain issue based not person based. 

Thirdly, communication; good communication is essential. Communication is the key to unlock our greatest relational future. 

Number four, develop true intimacy. The best way to do this is to pray together as a couple. Do it everyday. There are different roads that lead to intimacy. For women, talking leads to intimacy. Men starve their wives soul when they don't communicate or talk with them. Listening is vitally important too. Sex leads to intimacy for men. I know, "shocker". Men are physical creatures that respond to touch, sight and sexual gratification. Sex is important to men. With all of this its important to remember the number one need for all people, whether communicated or not, is to be unconditionally loved and accepted. True intimacy can only develop where unconditional love is present. 

The fifth point is to choose commitment. Don't wish, hope, fantasize or dream; just choose. Choose commitment to one another over all else.

In the end, I believe all these points to be significant, but none individually, or collectively, are more essential than a married couple having a faith in Jesus Christ. A faith that is the cornerstone of their relationship and foundation of their marriage. Sadly christian couples divorce too, but those that devoutly, and consistently, attend church, are involved in a "small group" and pray together have a much lower divorce rate than those who don't. When a couple adds God to the equation they become as strong as a three stranded rope; they become three that equals One

sbb 5.11.12
Do You Love Me?  .  Jonathan Butler

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